Confusion

Sometimes I just don't get people. I had added this guy on Facebook a while back because I had seen him around at shows, and we had a few mutual friends, and he goes to AUM so I figured why not try to make friends with people that go to the same school as me. He also took one of the classes I was going to be taking, so I figured I could ask him for help if I needed it, because I am terrible at math, but sadly so was he, so he wasn't much help anyway. Well, at the time we began talking he was having problems with his relationship. Him and his girlfriend were on a break, and I could relate to him. The problems he described having in his relationship were identical to mine in my own relationship. I would talk with him and try to give him advice and tell him not to give up because the girl was obviously worth fighting for. I could tell he really liked her. Even loved her. We ran into each other a few times at school. I also saw him at Warped Tour this past summer, and I told him and he asked why I didn't come say hey to him, so I figured if I saw him at school I would say hey next time. We talked a few times in person and then all of a sudden he started talking to me less and less, until he just completely stopped. Him and his girl got back on track, and I'm happy for him, but I don't understand why all of a sudden when things become good with his girlfriend, he completely ignores my existence. He did say that he got jealous when his girl talked to guys, and I'm sure his girl probably gets jealous when he talks to girls. I don't know. Something just seems fishy on his part. We were getting to be good friends and that just stopped dead cold. Guys are stupid. Not only are they impossible to date, but apparently they're impossible to be friends with too. Ha But I will keep trying and working on my own relationship for the time being.

And Now I Wait...

So I just applied to Auburn University. This will be my second time applying, and I am hoping since I will be a transfer student the admission process will be a lot easier and smoother. Basically, I am hoping this time that I actually get in. Last time I applied I had good grades, but my ACT score was a mere 21. I guess that is what kept me from getting in. I have been working so hard this semester and currently have a 4.0. At least I'm pretty sure I do since I have been making all A's. Maybe a B once in math. I am just really really hoping I get in! This has been a dream of mine. I have been waiting for this moment to apply again. I am the first of 3 children to graduate. Though my brother got his GED and is attending Middle Georgia Tech right now, I am still the only child to have graduted and gone to college. I want to prove myself at a big university like Auburn. So far I like it at AUM, but I went to a small private high school and I want to be in a new environment, and really be out on my own. If I did get accepted into AU, I would more than likely be living in an apartment and have a job trying to pay for groceries and gas and other neccessities. I am hoping to get an academic scholarship, because that will help greatly. Getting into AU would open so many new doors for me and I am ready to jump right in! But I will have to wait a couple months before I find out the verdict-in or not.

Concussion

I used to go to shows a lot, but now I rarely attend. Maybe that's a good thing. I remember once when I went to a show in Auburn, I got a concussion. There are people moshing all around because this was a hardcore show, and I thought I would be safe just standing up against the wall. I was with my boyfriend, his friend, and our other friend and his girlfriend. We were all pretty much standing against the wall, but eventually Wes and Chris started goofing off, and Thomas and Lee were off to the side doing their own thing. I wasn't really paying attention, and it only took a second for me to get slammed into the wall. I remember feeling like a car had slammed into me, and I remember feeling my head hit the wall. After that I could feel myself falling to the ground as I began to black out. My boyfriend said he caught me before I hit the ground, and he threw me over his shoulder and carried me off to a chair and sat me down. I was out for about 5 minutes. I remember slowly gaining consciousness and hearing people calling my name. When I finally opened my eyes I saw my boyfriend's face and he looked so worried. He gave me some water and told our friends standing next to me to watch after me. Apparently he asked the people in charge of the venue if they had any plastic bags or ice, and they didn't so he went across the street to the gas station to get me a bag of ice to put on my head. While I was waiting, me and our friends went to a quiter room. It had a skateboard ramp in it, but nobody was using it, except to sit on it. I layed down on a platform thingy and Lee tried to cheer me up by making me laugh. The guy who slammed me into the wall came in and apologized to me. He asked if I was ok, and to my surprise he wasn't a big guy. He was kind of short and of average weight. Maybe a little under. I thought for sure with the force that I felt hit me, it would have had to have been the huge guy I saw earlier with the septum ring that made him look like a bull. I appreciated him coming and apologizing, I even told my boyfriend when he finally got back. But that didn't stop him from punching the guy dead in the face when they went back out to the show. He told me they were all in a pit and he pretended to be moshing and swung his arm around and punched the guy. I didn't find this information out until almost a year after the show. It pissed me off because the guy didn't mean to slam me into the wall. When I got home from that show, I kept having frequent headaches, and my head where it hit the wall was very tender. I went to the doctor and they did a CAT scan but found nothing wrong with my head. My doctor told me I may have had a mild concussion, and that these headaches I have might come and go for the rest of my life. I guess she was right, because ever since then, I have more headaches than usual. I used to only get a few minor headaches here and there, but now I have them all the time. Sometimes so painful I can't even open my eyes because they start to tear up. Now if I do go to a show, I am sure to keep my distance from crazy moshers.

Holiday Drama

This Thanksgiving was pretty good. There was not really any drama, but there were a couple of scares. My brother has been having problems with his heart and his blood pressure is way higher than it should be for someone his age. His doctor even told him that he is a stroke waiting to happen. He has also developed a condition of having panic attacks, and they really scare him because he says they make him feel like he is going to die. When he had his first one, he didn't know what was happening. He thought he was having a heart attack so he called 911 and two ambulances came to our house and took him to the ER. They said everything was pretty much fine with him, besides his high blood pressure. He had another panic attack over Thanksgiving break, except it was when he was driving on his way home from Georgia. He had to pull over and once again called an ambulance. My parents had to drive all the way to Columbus to go get him from the hospital, and my dad had to drive his camaro home. I didn't even know my dad knew how to drive a stick (but I guess that's a dumb thought because every guy I think knows how), but apparently everybody in my family but me knows how to. I just didn't think about it because it was my mom who taught my brother how to drive a stick. Anyway..On the way home with my mom, my brother called me because he needed someone to talk to because he was feeling another panic attack coming on. I came home that night and arrived home maybe a minute before they finally got home. My brother was glad to see me because I am the only one who really understands him. I used to have panic attacks, so I can help him learn how to cope with them. Right now, he is doing much better. He is learning how to stop his panic attacks from happening. Other than that, I think the only other drama was all the food from Thanksgiving was gone by the next day and we had no leftovers :( But I guess it's inevitable to keep food around when you have eight people in the house, 3 of which can eat a dinner for 4 by themselves. Oh yea, and it was kind of dramatic when my grandma, uncle, and brother went back to Georgia. My brother tells me he hates it over there because he can never have any privacy. My grandma is always hovering over him, checking up on him every 5 minutes. He looked so depressed when he was getting ready to leave; I felt bad for him. But he will be back home soon for Christmas/New Years break. He gets a whole month off.

Realizations

I had a pretty good Thanksgiving break. My grandma and uncle came to visit, and my brother also came because he attends college in Georgia and stays with my grandma. My brother and I are like best friends, but we weren't always that way. I am just glad that we can call ourselves close today. I was also close to my grandma until I found my boyfriend and started spending my free time with him instead of visiting in Georgia. I was glad to see my mama, as I call her, and she was really happy to see me too. It felt good to have everyone together in one place, especially during the holidays. It made me realize how much I miss spending time with my family. I used to complain because we never really did anything as a family anymore, like go to movies or the beach, maybe even out to dinner. But now I am thankful for the time I do share with my family, even if it is just sitting in the den watching the History Channel with my dad, or watching some lame reality show with my mom. Now that I am in college, though only a Freshman and still living at home, I realize that my time with my family is limited. I will eventually transfer to Auburn University, be living in an apartment there, and maybe see my family every other weekend. And then when I finally graduate, I will be moving on to start my own life most likely in a state minimum 11 hours away. I have been thinking a lot lately about where I will be in ten years. I am sure I will be married, and have at least one kid, and be living in our happy home together, but will I have time for my family? I'll miss not seeing my family whenever I want to. Right now they are just a few steps outside of my bedroom door. But eventually they will be a whole plane ride or 11 hour road trip away. If I could, I would pack my family up with me and cram them in my future home with me, but I know that isn't possible. I am even debating whether or not to transfer yet, or wait another year. I know I will have to grow up and be on my own sooner or later, but I have had a lot of missed time with my family, simply because I chose time with my boyfriend over time with family. I regret not having been home as much as my parents would have liked me to have been, and I don't want to live life in the future regretting not having spent time with my family. I don't want to be at my parents' funerals thinking about the time I could've spent with them, but chose not to. Sometimes I think too much and just jump right in and can't stop..

First Time

The other night I saw a lunar eclipse for the first time. It was really cool and interesting, and also pretty to look at. I had just gotten back from Books A Million with my boyfriend and it was around 6 o'clock and I noticed I didn't see the moon anywhere in the sky. I looked and noticed that the sky had a reddish tint to it, and when I finally got out of the car and got a better view, I finally saw the moon. It was hanging low in the sky and was a rusty red color. At first it caught me off guard because I have some pretty freaky nightmares that include a red moon, but I realized I am an 18 year-old and those are just nightmares. ha So I stood there and stared at the moon for a good minute and went inside, but something inside me just called me back outside. When I gazed at the moon for a second time it looked like the top round part had been cut off. It was black, and I started to notice that the moon kept getting slowly covered by this blackness, and it hit me that this was a lunar eclipse! After the moon was completely black, it started to slowly reappear, except instead of being rusty red, it was a rusty orange. I thought that was really cool. I love the moon. It is such a pretty sight to see in the vast night sky. Especially when the night is clear and you can see the sparkling little diamond-like stars complementing its beauty.

YAY!

I figured out today that I am done with mathlab. I had been done for a while though. You only need 740 points to pass and I was a few points shy of 800. So I am really excited that I do not have to wake up early on Wednesdays anymore, even though this semester is almost over so it kind of doesn't matter. I also found out that I did much better than I thought on my second history test I took a while back. I made a 99. I got 10 points extra credit and 5 bonus points, so even if I had not gotten those, I still would've passed with an 84. Much better than I thought I did. I thought I made like a 65 or something. So far I have all As in my classes, which would mean I have a 4.0. I hope I can keep this 4.0 up for the rest of this semester and next semester. I am really worried about next semester but I should be fine even though my schedule isn't the most flattering to my liking. I really need a scholarship if I expect to go to Auburn next year. Any sum of money will help. I'll also be working every day this summer more than likely, which is fine with me because my parents could use some help. It isn't easy putting 2 kids through college. I am just going to keep pushing hard and applying to scholarships left and right.

Paraphrasing Exercise

The twenties were the years when drinking was against the law, and the law was a bad joke because everyone knew of a local bar where liquor could be had. They were the years when organized crime ruled the cities,and the police seems powerless to do anything against it. Classical music was forgotten while jazz spread throughout the land, and men like Bix Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became the heroes of the young. The flapper was born in the twenties, with her bobbed hair and short skirts, she symbolized, perhaps more than anyone or anything else, America's break with the past. From Kathleen Yancey, English 102 Supplemental Guide (1989): 25.

Paraphrased:
The twenties were no joke for plenty of reasons. Alcohol was prohibited, but that did not stop people from indulging in their drinking habits because there was a bar that served liquor in town. Crime took hold over the cities causing the police force to become helpless. Classical music fell by the wayside and jazz became the new wave of music. On a more positive note, there were a few heroes to the younger youth of the twenties, one including Louis Armstrong. Another figure appeared, and her name was the "flapper". She had short hair to match with her skirts of lacking-length. She became our nation's release from the past. (Yancey 25)

I Hate It When...

You see dogs that have been run over and are left to lay in the road. This morning when I was on the way to class, I was driving through my neighborhood and saw a dog that had been hit. It looked like a black lab, or something similar. It made me really sad because I saw it had a collar on and knew for sure that it was someone's family dog. I just hope the dog didn't belong to whatever family lived in the house that it was in front of, because that would suck. Imagine looking out your window or coming home from school/work to see your dog in the road in front of your house. It would be devastating for me. My family has always had a dog ever since I have been born, and we always get really attached to our pets. My mom treats the dogs like they are her own kids. She doesn't baby them or anything and dress them up; nothing crazy like that. She just really loves them and they love her. I sometimes think they think my mom is their real mom. ha I feel bad because I feel like I should have stopped to check and see if the dog was really gone, or possibly was still hanging on to life. But he looked pretty gone :( I also should have checked the tags and called the owner. I am sure they would not want their dog to stay in the road where it could possibly get hit again. I would want to be able to at least bury my dog, or for those people that prefer cremation. But then I got all paranoid and thought "What if people driving by or the owner thinks I hit the dog?" Plus, how weird would it look to see someone standing over a perished dog? I don't know. I am weird like that. But I will never forget when my dad accidentally backed over our family dog in the driveway. I grew up with that dog, so you can imagine I was severely affected by her being gone. My mom even got her cremated. I don't tell her, but I think it is kind of weird to get a dog cremated.

Thanksgiving Food

We have all kinds of delicious food for Thanksgiving. We have a turkey of course, but we also have a honey glazed ham for those of us that prefer it. I personally prefer the honey glazed ham because it has so much flavor compared to the turkey. Usually I don't eat the turkey by itself, I have to put stuffing and the stuffing gravy on top of it. Which brings me to the next dish that we have: Stuffing/dressing. I love stuffing and the gravy we use to go with it. I also like to mix cranberry sauce with the stuffing. I do that a lot with food though; I love to mix things up and eat it all at once ha. We also usually have greenbean casserole, which is a favorite of mine. It is soooo good. Mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, cinnamon carrots, sweet potato pie, and squash(gross) are a bunch of other things we usually have on Thanksgiving. We have some more dishes that we make, but every year we variate. As for deserts, we will have apple pie and my mom's yummy banana pudding with whipped cream and those cute little vanilla wafers on top. I could eat that all day. I have been really excited about Thanksgiving this year because lately I have been going on a cooking spree. I love to watch the Food Network and go on Tasteofhome.com and look up recipes and try them out. I think I will try my hand at making a sweet potato casserole this year. I found a really good and simple recipe, and I really don't even fancy sweet potatoes. :P I love love love food and I know I will be eating a lot of good food this coming Thanksgiving break, and I can't wait!I have always loved the idea of cooking or being a chef as a profession, but now I think of it more as being a potential side job. The job that comes with being a wife and mother(which will be waaay later on down the road haha).

Dreams

I have some pretty random and crazy dreams/nightmares, and they all feel so real. This morning I had a re-occuring dream of mine. This is probably the 5th time I have had it over a period of maybe 2 years. It has to do with the coming of Christ. I am not a very religious person; I am a Christian but I pretty much call it at that. I don't try to force my religion or beliefs down anyone's throat. In the dream, the coming of Christ always happens at night and it starts off by me looking up at the night sky to see the moon either slowly turning red as if it were being slowly filled with blood, or a lunar eclipse occurs. In the dream watching the moon doing either one of these two things is like watching a ticking time bomb. You know once the moon is completely red or is completely covered in darkness, that He is coming. When that happens, it is almost like all time stands still along with everything around you. In the dreams I always feel panicky like I am not ready for Christ to come back, like I know I would not go to Heaven. I always wake up right after the big bang that sounds like a huge crash of thunder. I am kind of glad I wake up right after the loud crash, because I don't think I want to know what would happen next. Like what if a bunch of demons come from the ground after the others have gone to Heaven, and all hell(literally) breaks loose, and the people that are left behind have to suffer through it. It is always so scary to wake up from these dreams. I hate it. I have seen about 3 red moons in my lifetime so far, but they have never been as deep red like they are in my dreams. I remember I heard from someone or somewhere that when there are 3 red moons, Christ will come. But apparently that is not true, because I have seen 3. I don't know if this is God's way of scaring me and showing me I need to change and get on the right path, but the dreams are definitely an eye-opener.

Wikipedia

We all know that Wikipedia isn't the most trustworthy site to go look up information for school papers. I don't usually go on Wikipedia, but after talking with my parents about how I almost died when I was born due to a condition called PFC (Persistent Fetal Circulation), I became interested in this condition. I have known for years about my dramatic ordeal of a birth, but for some reason tonight I became really interested in researching it. I typed PFC into google, and clicked the first link I saw that had anything to do with it, which was Wikipedia. I scrolled down and I read something that said "The first infant to have survived PFC was so and so in so and so hospital in 1993." I stopped and had a WTF moment. I was born in 1992, a year before this kid,with PFC and survived. But I know this can't be true that even I was the first child to have survived PFC. I did some more searching, and came upon some experiment where doctors tested 40 infants for hearing loss who had PFC, and this was around 1984. It was cool to think for a second there that I may have been the first infant to have survived the condition PFC. PFC is basically when the baby is born, it fails to make the transition and thinks that it is still inside his/her mother's womb. When I was born I screamed once, and then stopped. I could not breath on my own and I had to be taken to another hospital in Macon, GA where they hooked me up to all kinds of tubes and IVs, and even put me in an induced coma so that I would not try to rip/tear all of the IVs out. One of the nurses did not set one of the IVs in my arm right and it slipped, causing whatever medicine that was inside it to leak out onto my skin, which caused a massive 3rd degree burn covering half of my arm. I saw a picture my mom took and my arm was literally like a rainbow. My mom had to scrub the dead skin off of my arm twice a day, until she got to the healthy pink skin. She couldn't bare to do it because I would cry my eyes out in pain, so she took me to the doctor so he could do it. My mom said she would wait outside of the room and cry because she could hear me crying. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks before I was good to come home. And the IV slipping causing the burn happened the night before I was to go home. My parents thought about sueing the hospital, and even got a lawyer, but they figured they would just drop the case, because they didn't want the doctor who worked so hard saving my life to be affected. They were grateful that I was alive and that was all that mattered. I have had this grizzly scar on my arm (right wrist) for my whole life. I don't even know how to describe what it looks like, but it is definitely interesting, and I guess my "trademark". It is what makes me unique, and I don't plan on getting cosmetic surgery in the future to "fix" it. To me it is normal, and that is the way it will stay with me. It is a reminder that life is a precious gift.

Thanksgiving

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving break in a couple of weeks. I need a break from school because I stay tired. ha But more importantly I will be excited to see my grandma. I haven't seen her in a while, and we used to be really close. I would always go over to her house in Georgia every chance I got. This year, and like many years before this year, she will be visiting us for Thanksgiving. When my brothers and I were younger, we would always go to her house, and she would make an amazingly delicious feast. Now she comes and visits us, and her and my mom, and even me sometimes, spend about three days before Thanksgiving preparing the feast. I cannot wait to eat a lot of good food for Thanksgiving! I LOVE food. I think about food while I'm eating food. I know I sound like a big fat fatty, but food is just that enjoyable. I used to want to be a chef, except I don't care for making that skimpy expensive food that is more art than edible. I want to be a southern cook, and cook the best southern foods. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because it means great food, family getting together, and remembering what or who you are thankful for. It also means that Christmas is right around the corner! My dad is even putting up the Christmas tree today, even though we aren't going to decorate it just yet. I told him that he was crazy, because it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Last year, we didn't even put a tree up, so I guess I can't complain. I would rather have a tree out early than not at all :P

Designer Babies

How would you like to be able to choose what color of eyes or hair your child will have? Maybe you want your child to be smart or have musical talents? Recent advances in biotechnology are making these things more possible. As soon as 10 to 15 years from now. Some people are against this idea, while supporters think that these advancements will have a positive outcome on society. The opposing side argues that by being able to choose what you want your child to look like or even be like, it is downgrading the role of parenthood. It would also take away from the whole being human and a unique individual. People would place themselves into social classes even more than they already do now. Money is also an issue. People who are rich and can already have practically anything they want, will be able to afford this no problem. People who make an average or below income, however, will not be able to afford it quite as easily, if at all, which will also contribute to a divide in social classes. Supporters of genetically modifying humans have different approaches. They say that it will not be long before genetically modifying will be affordable to all social classes, whether you have average income or an overflowing bank account. They also say that the designer babies will bring about a better generation. A generation that is smarter and more talented. They also say that genetically modifying your child will not downgrade you as a parent. They believe that parents will choose what is best for their child, like parents already do today. They do not view genetically modifying babies as marketing, which is contrary to what the opposers feel.

Memory Loss and Sleep Deprivation = Not A Good Mix

I don't know what's been wrong with me lately. I have been so tired this past week, and not in the mood to do anything. I have been getting kind of behind in my work for the past two weeks. My memory is starting to deteriorate too. Lastnight when I was doing laundry, I was moving the clothes out of the dryer so I could put my wet clothes in it. I had a few other things that I wanted to wash so I put them in the now empty washer. I had my phone in my hand during this whole ordeal, and I guess somehow I forgot and when I had a shirt in the same hand as my phone, I must have let my phone go with the shirt. But of course with my luck I don't realize this until a minute after I have already put the detergent in and started the cycle. I get my dad's phone to call mine, and it goes straight to voicemail. Then it dawns on me to check the washer, so I do and find nothing. I close the washer, do some more unsuccessful searching, and finally go back to the washer, and I find it this time. My phone must have been in there for a good minute or two. I wasn't too worried though because when I was reading reviews on my phone before I got it, some guy said he forgot his phone was in his pocket and got in the pool with it, and didn't realize until maybe 3 minutes later. He said that his phone worked just as well if not better. I left my battery to lay out in a bowl of rice overnight, and it does indeed work just fine today. Thank goodness. I live on my phone, so me not having a phone would be a terrible thing. ha

I Feel Like I've Been Screwed Over

I registered for my classes today, and needless to say, I am NOT happy. Most of the classes I wanted to take wouldn't work because the times clashed with each other. So I had to pick classes that I really didn't want to take just to make things work. I will be taking seven classes next semester: 2 on Monday,3 on Tuesday & Wednesday, and !4! on Thursday. I am really not liking the whole 4 classes on Thursday deal, but I really have no choice. I am majoring in Biology, so this semester I am already taking principles of Biology I, so naturally I will have to take principles II next semester. Well, of course this would by no means be fun when it came to registering. There is ONLY ONE class for principles II, PERIOD. So the only choice I had (which really isn't a choice at all) is to take the 5:00-6:15pm class taught by ths instructor that I hear is terrible. First off, that is a night class. I told myself after taking a night class this semester, I wouldn't do the same for next semester-but it looks like I have no choice. And to make my experience "better", I have this instructor who I've heard nothing but bad things about. BUT GET THIS. I also have to do the principles II lab, and guess who was the only choice for that? Yep. The SAME instructor for my lecture. Biology this semester so far has been fun and interesting. But next semester I fear it will be boring and way more challenging than it should be because I'll have an instructor that can't teach because he doesn't know what he's talking about. Why would I want to be miserable in my own major? UGH. Also, for English Comp II, I saw the choice of SciFi Monsters, which I thought sounded pretty badass, so I was excited...UNTIL I found out it was at the same exact time as my history class. And when it came to choosing history, I definitely went by instructor. I chose the instructor I did because I don't like history, and I am not majoring in history, nor does it have anything to do with my major. I don't feel like wasting my time in a class I feel I don't need, wasting time studying hard when I could be focusing on the classes I DO NEED to study for. So now I am currently registered in English Comp II Body/Image...which is a far, boring cry from SciFi monsters. Hopefully the Body/Image class won't be depressing. I hope it's not like a thing where we are forced to talk about what we don't like about our body, and why we don't like it, and what we think is the acceptable image in society and for what reasons. I can imagine walking into class the first day with a big mirror in the middle of the room, and we have to one by one go up to the mirror and stare at ourselves.
It's been a looonnggg day. I think it's safe to say that I'm tired and loopy from exhaustion. Me=NEED SLEEP :D

Biology Findings/Experiments

I think it is cool how nearly every week, scientists find a new gene that is linked to a specific human trait. In a study on laboratory mice, Neurobiologist, Steven Thomas, and molecular biologist, Richard Palmiter, tested if genes could be responsible for the nurturing traits of a mother. Laboratory mice are usually very attentive parents their pups, regularly checking up on them and making sure they are fed and warm. In the study, Thomas and Palmiter inactivated the gene in mice responsible for preparing them for motherhood. When the pups were born, the mother did not pay any attention to them. The female left the babies scattered around the cage, resulting in the death of 3 out of four of the babies. The surviving pups were given to foster mothers, where 85% of the pups continued to survive.

I think it really fascinating how there can be certain genes that contribute to traits like mothering or nurturing. I guess it makes sense that your brain be "programmed" or prepared for motherhood before the baby is actually born. I guess there's new meaning behind a "mother's intuition."

Visiting In Auburn..

So every weekend I go to Auburn to visit my boyfriend. His roommate has this god awful girlfriend that I cannot stand. Since day one she hasn't even acknowledged my existence. She would come in the room and say Hi to my boyfriend and not even so much as look in my direction. I was the first one to say anything out of the both of us, so at least I tried to make an effort to get to know her. She certainly wasn't aiming to get to know me. I am a shy person, so it is hard for me to talk to people, especially people I don't know. I talk to Dalton(my bf's roommate with the annoying girlfriend) and his other roommate(Brandon) is kind of a recluse and sticks to himself, so I don't really see him anyway. Ok, back to the story. So my boyfriend and I got back from seeing Due Date(which was a decent movie by the way), and I come in and go to my boyfriend's room to go the bathroom. Wes(my boyfriend, figured using names will be easier) goes into Dalton's room to talk to him and Toni(Dalton's gf), and Spencer(mutual friend). Well I usually don't ever go into Dalton's room and "socialize" but I figured I would last night just to try to break out of my shell. Wes knows I don't like Toni, and told me to chill out and try to be nice to her, so I figured I would since it is his friend's girl. I come out of the bathroom and make my way into Dalton's room. Dalton is in his bathroom, Toni is laying on his bed and Spencer is just chillin in the corner in a chair. Two seconds after I walk in, Wes turns around and says "Whoa! When did you get here? I was just talking about you." And I reply "Like 2 seconds ago" to which then Spencer laughs. Well I didn't want to ask my boyfriend in front of them what he was saying about me. I waited until we got back into his room to ask him. So here's how it went:
Me: "So what were you saying about me before I walked in?"
Wes: "Well I was talking to Toni about how I like Brandon's new girlfriend better than his old one because she actually talks to people and his other girlfriend didn't like to talk to anyone. And Toni was like 'Well your girlfriend doesn't talk to anyone.' Then I said that's because she's in the bathroom. And Toni said she feels like you don't like her and I said 'that's because she doesn't like you'"
At this point I am LIVID. ABSOLUTELY LIVID. I am sure that everyone heard me yelling at Wes saying words that wouldn't exactly be listed as friendly. But he had no right to tell her that I didn't like her. If I wanted her to know, I would have told her myself. Nothing can ever stay between my boyfriend and me which really pisses me the frick off. What's worse is I looked like an idiot just standing there in Dalton's room next to my butthole of a boyfriend having no idea what he said about me before I came in. And to top it all off, I was trying to be okay with Toni. I was going to put my differences aside and try to get along with her, and now every chance of that is currently ruined. But really and honestly I don't care to step it up and pull her aside and clear the plate. I just don't aim to please her or be her friend. Much less get to know her. I just don't want her to actually know I don't like her because she is the type of person to not let it go. So I come in tonight and she has the nerve to try and make cheap shot remarks directed towards me. I mean, since day one she hasn't even tried to get to know me. At least I tried. From now on when I visit though, I am not even going to acknowledge her. I don't have time to associate with trash. (She really is trashy, I would tell you why but it's not too appropriate. Let's just say it's not a pleasant noise to wake up to in the morning, or any of the 5-6 other times throughout the day that you hear it/her).

Becoming A Scrooge

The holidays just aren't as exciting as they used to be. I know a BIG part of that is because I am not a kid anymore. Things were always more colorful and exciting as a kid. But now, there is a different reason why the holidays just don't get me excited anymore. I hate how stores don't even wait for October to be over before they start putting out Christmas decorations. It is hard to be excited about Halloween when you feel the stores are rushing you to get your Halloween stuff a month or two before Halloween is even here. I guess seeing all of the Christmas stuff and getting used to seeing it earlier than it should be out, takes away the excitement of the holidays. I remember when I was little how they would at least wait until Thanksgiving to put out all of the Christmas decorations. For the past few years Christmas has been anything but exciting. Last year I don't even think we put up a Christmas tree. But one thing I do look forward to about Christmas is driving around looking at lights. People do seem to wait for that. I mean, you don't come home at night a few days after Halloween seeing people with Christmas lights illuminating their house. That would be crazy. I just wish the stores would wait too.

Grades.

Yesterday I had my second History exam. She gave us a study guide with two possible essay questions, and on the actual test there would only be one. She did not give us any hints as to which she would put on the test, as she shouldn't because that would be "babying" us. Well, I focused more on one essay question than the other, simply because I felt more comfortable with that one; I had more information for that one than the other. And we have to write and actual essay on the test. Five paragraphs like you would a normal essay, and it counts for 50 points(half the test!). Well, with my luck, when I received the test yesterday, the essay question I DIDN'T study was the one she chose. I felt panicked and I did not what I was going to do. I can't just pull a rabbit out of my ass and say "well-lah!" I looked in my brain for any possible information I could remember about that essay question. The result: a jumbled mess of only half the information she asked for. My essay was pathetic and I am sure she will read it and tear it apart. I have come to find that I am a little hard on myself when it comes to my grades. So far I have all As, and I need to keep the grades that good if I expect to be able to transfer to Auburn WITH a scholarship. Money is tight and my dad told me the only way I will be going to Auburn is if I have a scholarship. Believe me, I hear him every day reminding me to apply for scholarships. I hope that I did not do too bad on my history exam. I have a 96.6 average in that class right now, and I do not want it to drop considerably because I was careless about studying for a test.

Halloween Weekend

Even though we didn't go to Netherworld, I had a pretty good Halloween weekend. I didn't go to any parties or anything, but I did get to spend time with my boyfriend. We had gotten in an arguement last week and I broke up with him. I didn't want to and it took all my strength not to talk to him for the next couple of days following the break up. Well he showed up at my house Friday with roses. It was so sweet the way he was standing out there waiting for me to come outside. I realized that the argument we had was stupid and unneccessary. (It really was; I'm kind of embarrassed thinking about it ha)I spent my weekend with him, and we went to go see Jackass 3D with his family on Saturday. I really didn't want to go see it. Even though I basically grew up watching Jackass, I feel that now I have some respect for myself when it comes to what I watch. haha Some parts were really funny, I won't lie. But sometimes those guys just act so gay with each other, it makes you wonder. And Johnny Knoxville, well he's another story. He kept scratching himself like he just had an itch all over he couldn't scratch. Hmmm..wonder what drugs he's on. We all know the story of Steve-O....And of course being Jackass, and a movie full of what else but jackasses, there were plenty of gross scenes and pranks that could make anyone's stomach churn. But I knew what I was getting into when I heard we going to watch Jackass 3D. Later that night we went over to a family member's house to "celebrate" Halloween. Wes and I took Miles trick-or-treating and this kid eats nothing but bread, crackers and macaroni. He is VERY picky. So after we got back, he told us we could have all of his candy, because he doesn't like any kind of candy but Pixi Stix. My boyfriend was excited, but I don't really have a sweet tooth anymore. It took only three pieces and I felt sick to my stomach. But that didn't stop me from stealing all the Dum Dums! I love those things