STUDY STUDY STUDY!

I found out that I must have made a good grade on my BIOL Lab final, because I ended up with an A in the class. Before my final, I had a 91 average and I was scared that I did bad on my final, and it could possibly bring it down to a B. So I am really excited about that. So far that is the only final I have taken and gotten a grade for. I am studying for my History and Biology final now. I am pretty confident that I will do good on both of those finals. I am just really nervous about my math final. I was kind of upset the other day when I got my last test before the final back. I thought that I had done really well, but I ended up making a 78. Usually Ms. J gives us points just for writing the correct steps to the problem, even if we end up getting the wrong answer, but she didn't do that this time. She said she still had some bonus points to add, so maybe I'll get lucky and have a low B afterwards. I know I have at least a high B average in math, and even if I don't do so hot on my final, I will more than likely still have a grade of at least a 75 to receive credit for the class. But I want to take my final feeling confident I made a good grade because I did the best I could. Even though it will say CR or NCR as my final grade, I still want to feel like I left that class with an A. I thought math would be the death of me, but it wasn't too bad this past semester. I really need to focus on math because that is my weak point. I am just glad that the final will be multiple choice :P

Quote

"If you don't risk anything, you risk more." - Erica Jong

I can relate to this quote in at least one significant way recently. I have been in a relationship for 3 years now. Really only half a year out of our relationship has been worth calling a relationship. So I guess you may be wondering how we even made it to three years. We do both "love" each other. I wouldn't say at 15 I really knew what the word "love" was, but I sure used it frequently like I knew all about it. Even today being 18 I still haven't figured out what it really means to be in love. I don't think an 18 year old should have to try to decode this mysterious word. When you're 18 you're really just starting out your life. You're in college and you're beginning the path to your future career. Well, at 15, this guy was my first boyfriend. In the past I had some "relationships" where there were mutual feelings, but I was too young and my parents greatly disapproved of any idea of dating. Which leads me to what this quote means to me. I have been thinking a lot lately about why I am settling for less. I struggle with myself because sometimes I just know this relationship isn't right for me, but I'm afraid to leave it. I guess I have become comfortable with where I'm at. I'm afraid of putting myself back out there trying to find the "right" one. What if I have to go through a bunch of jerks and end up being a lonely 25 year-old still searching for Mr. Right. But if I don't risk anything, I will never know who may be out there for me. Who knows? Maybe there's a guy that will make me forget about all the qualities and expectations I look for in a guy, because he's just that great. Maybe a guy that brings out the best values in me, and makes me feel more confident than ever. If I don't risk leaving this relationship that just goes in cycles from bad to good to bad, then I will never know what potential could be out there. A guy that could maybe change my life in an extremely positive way could be out there, and it's up to me to find out.