Realizations

I had a pretty good Thanksgiving break. My grandma and uncle came to visit, and my brother also came because he attends college in Georgia and stays with my grandma. My brother and I are like best friends, but we weren't always that way. I am just glad that we can call ourselves close today. I was also close to my grandma until I found my boyfriend and started spending my free time with him instead of visiting in Georgia. I was glad to see my mama, as I call her, and she was really happy to see me too. It felt good to have everyone together in one place, especially during the holidays. It made me realize how much I miss spending time with my family. I used to complain because we never really did anything as a family anymore, like go to movies or the beach, maybe even out to dinner. But now I am thankful for the time I do share with my family, even if it is just sitting in the den watching the History Channel with my dad, or watching some lame reality show with my mom. Now that I am in college, though only a Freshman and still living at home, I realize that my time with my family is limited. I will eventually transfer to Auburn University, be living in an apartment there, and maybe see my family every other weekend. And then when I finally graduate, I will be moving on to start my own life most likely in a state minimum 11 hours away. I have been thinking a lot lately about where I will be in ten years. I am sure I will be married, and have at least one kid, and be living in our happy home together, but will I have time for my family? I'll miss not seeing my family whenever I want to. Right now they are just a few steps outside of my bedroom door. But eventually they will be a whole plane ride or 11 hour road trip away. If I could, I would pack my family up with me and cram them in my future home with me, but I know that isn't possible. I am even debating whether or not to transfer yet, or wait another year. I know I will have to grow up and be on my own sooner or later, but I have had a lot of missed time with my family, simply because I chose time with my boyfriend over time with family. I regret not having been home as much as my parents would have liked me to have been, and I don't want to live life in the future regretting not having spent time with my family. I don't want to be at my parents' funerals thinking about the time I could've spent with them, but chose not to. Sometimes I think too much and just jump right in and can't stop..