It Feels Good To Be Striving For Something For A Change

As I can recall, none of my school years up until now really meant anything to me. When I was in elementary school, sure I made A-B Honor Roll, but it wasn't because I was striving to do good. I just made those grades because the work was easy, and my teachers made it fun. Therefore, I became more interested in the work I was given in class. Junior High really didn't take too well with me. I started out my 7th grade year at GW. That school was a living hell. I had very few friends, none of which were really in any of my classes. So in order to keep myself busy, I stayed buried in my schoolwork. But when I got home and was free from embarrassing and socially awkward situations, I got lazy. All I cared about was that I was home and free to be myself. I later transferred to LCA during the middle of 7th grade year. The first year or so at LCA was okay. We actually did work, the people were nice, and I didn't have to worry about getting made fun of for being shy. I enjoyed making friends, and the work was fairly easy. But that was just the problem, and what has been the problem the past 6 years of my life. LCA was notorious for having teachers that either didn't teach, or just handed out the answers (which in a sense, can be counted as the same thing.) I never had to strive for anything, or got to know what it really meant to work hard for something. I had everything handed to me, and as you can imagine, I got pretty comfortable. When it came time to take my ACT, I realized how royally screwed I was. The english and reading section came easy to me, because I have always been pretty good at both subjects. The math is what really got me. The science kind of snipped me in the behind too. It made me feel overwhelmed all at once. I realized that I was in my Junior year of high school, had no motivation for attending college and making something of my life, and surely an average ACT score of 21 would not help me in the least bit. I thought of how I would probably never get accepted to any big colleges, which is what I really wanted. Well, as you can imagine, my senior year was not much better. Probably the easier year of my high school life, academically. I was still in my comfortable state, because I was used to having everything handed to me, and motivation was a rare species that certainly did not thrive in my comfortable world. I had applied to Auburn University and AUM. Of course I got into AUM immediately. I had all As and Bs and I think you only have to have a score of 18 on the ACT to be considered for admission. I did not however get accepted into Auburn. It crushed me. But now looking back, I didn't deserve to go to Auburn. I expected to have that acceptance letter handed to me like everything else had been. Graduation night really kicked my butt into gear. I knew this was it, and I would be attending college soon. And now that I am in college, I have never wanted something more in my life. I have motivation now. I want to prove to my high school(which is now shut down, thank God) that I am fully capable of being an intelligent indiviual who does not need grades handed to her. I want to make sure that I graduate college knowing that I tried my hardest, and did my best. It's not about just working hard hoping to get into Auburn anymore. It's me wanting to prove that I am capable of great things, and motivation, and striving for something that is surely within my reach-which is success.